Reblogged from alvauses
"I’m an emotionally manipulative narcissist who bailed on you when your mother died."
“And I’m a worthless pragmatist who sold you out and then lied about it.”
You two could be so absolutely amazing together but every moment of sweet truth - ‘I heart you’; ‘I heart you, too’ - is always countered with a million more moments like the ones above. And it is a ‘fuck you’ for the lies, ‘fuck you’ for the leaving, ‘fuck you’ for being inevitable, and ‘fuck you’ for not being brave.
No less true, of course, but all the more cutting.
And yet it wouldn’t cut so damn deeply if there wasn’t an incredible amount of love in the first place…
# every time I find myself seriously doubting Piper’s feelings for Alex I think about the phonecall to Larry post-his dumbass radio show before she knew Alex had lied before Larry said it was over Larry asks Piper if she loves Alex and she hems and haws for half a second but then he asks again and she is tearing up as she says ‘yes’ and that is all the conformation I need of how Piper feels about Alex because she could have told him that it didn’t happen she could have said that Healy was crazy she could have even used the whole ‘I’m human and I need comfort’ thing but when he asks if she loves Alex… …she says ‘yes’ hmmmmit’s about trust isn’t it? the second that Piper trusted Alex again was the second that Piper felt those real love-feelings bubble up again and that was that for Piper and the second that trust was lost? that was real impetus for Piper to chose Larry over Alex because Larry doesn’t know shit about Piper - not really - but he is steady and steady is safe and safe means never having to face up to anything if you don’t want to Larry allows her to pretend and Alex forces her to be real
God, your commentary + tags are giving me hot flashes. The good kind.
Because look, every “fuck you” is so well placed and so full of…caring. Scroll back up for the line-up. Fuck you, for coincidentally being in the same prison and I have to see you everyday and making me deal with something I buried a LONG time ago. Fuck you, for brainwashing yourself so much that you forget or refuse to remember how much I cared/loved you (and yes, Alex lied. I’m aware, but I think it’s [naming her] almost justified because she was so full of anger and sadness since Piper left her when she needed her the most). Fuck you (and this dryer) because it’s forcing us to talk about this and it’s not like I can fucking leave you in this dryer to die or get discovered, so I have to stay and and confront these god damn messy emotions. Fuck you, because you LIED and you NAMED me and YOU’RE the reason I’m here but I still. Love. You. And well the last two; fuck you. Because I can’t believe I love someone as messed up as you. Fuck you for leaving the first time and never apologizing. Fuck you for either leading me on or lying to yourself. Because honestly, which one will it be? In Alex’s eyes, Piper is either finding comfort in her because she can’t find it anywhere else, or she is honestly in love with Alex but is too afraid to admit it to anyone. And we already know which one Alex thinks it is. Until this day, I find it extremely difficult to get through her “never come to me ever again” speech.
And damn dude, you summarized it so well. In order to dig deep into yourself and deliver “Fuck you” the way that they do, there needs to be a foundation of love and care in the first place.
PS. And I’m SO glad that there’s gifs of these because as much as I love fluffy/sexy/adorable hand grazes sharing the headphones having hot mad sex flashes of Piper cumming strip teases showering etcetc, I think it’s important to show all their dysfunctions. Dysfunctions are a beautiful thing, too.
"God, your commentary + tags are giving me hot flashes. The good kind."
Hahaha! I am glad to have brought this about because that’s what happens to be during all Alex/Piper related events, lol.
"And damn dude, you summarized it so well. In order to dig deep into yourself and deliver “Fuck you" the way that they do, there needs to be a foundation of love and care in the first place."
As painful as it is (or can be), it is incredibly realistic to hurt the one you love. Because the more you trust someone, the easy it is to be as you are with them and guess what? We are not always good, nice, thoughtful human-beings; sometimes we are dicks, sometimes we take people for granted and use them, sometimes we are wounded and so we wound others just to feel like we’ve got our own back… It’s a cold and hollow feeling - in the end - but it happens all the time.
And this is why Alex and Piper can be so bad for each as well, lol.
I read the other commentary on your blog and while I can somewhat see their point about Piper (though if she were really being a soulless pragmatist then she would have initially told Larry anything in order to preserve what they have/had because - supposedly - Larry is the goal and a pragmatist is “one who is willing to ignore their ideals to accomplish goals” [cheers dictionary!]), I really do not agree with their assessment about Alex.
I don’t think Alex has a long-game where Piper is concerned - at least not as far as crushing Piper’s life. I think it is exactly as she said in the laundry room, post-Piper knowing that Alex named her: she wanted less time, Piper was just a name to her in many ways, she was mad - probably even madder than she realized - and wanted to say the first ‘fuck you’ in this conversation that they never had.
I think Alex’s true long-game was to be with Piper and, once they are in prison together, she pretty much allows Piper to dictate how things go because - deep down, even beyond her own anger and/or bitterness - she wants Piper back, she wants Piper to ‘like her’ again.
Also, re: Larry’s visit to Alex. Alex didn’t asked to see that dude, he wanted to see her, to scope out the situation and tell her to back off, etc. and so on. Why? Because his trust in Piper is already gone and he hoped that this would make him feel more secure about the woman he thought he would marry. All Alex said is what Larry is already thinking - Piper is one fucked up person (not saying she is a horrible person because I love her, but - as Suzanne pointed out - Piper is not a nice person).
Blah, blah, blah, I could talk about this forever, lol.
Reblogged from the-selfie-of-dorian-gray
…up to 200,000 people angry with high costs and poor public services took to the streets. Protesters in Rio de Janeiro burned cars and looted buildings as police attempted to disperse them with teargas and rubber bullets. Aerial images showed thousands of people attempting to storm the congress building in Brasilia. The rallies…are some of the biggest ever seen in the country…